Loss of Sanity

Hoards of pseudo-humanoids crowd into the narrow passageways. The stronger of the hoards trample and stamp out the runts. The victors claim their prizes while walking triumphantly out of the structure and back to their resting places. They reward themselves with hot beverages of sorts and delight over their spoils.

No, I am not describing the hunting and gathering people of Papua New Guinea; this is a description of what Black Friday has become in the United States. Thousands of shoppers ditch their families and trek to the stores to stand in absurdly long lines to get that marked down item. Now I'm guilty of loving the bargains but I, unlike many treat this excursion with poise and dignity.

Last year Grant and I did the whole wait in line at 12am so we could get the deals on the TVs. That was actually fun since it was great to see Grant proudly dragging his TVs around the store (one was for my parents by the way) as I walked like a zombie pushing the cart. This year we didn't really need anything but I ventured out this morning anyways to do some shopping for others.

My first mistake: no coffee. Why I decided to go "sober" to Black Friday shopping at the local mall is beyond me. Perhaps I was still drunk off of mashed potatoes and pie. I made it through but rushed to Starbucks afterwards to get my gingerbread latte (which mind you I think may be better than the pumpkin spice, blasphemous I know).

My second mistake: thinking people would be nice and courteous. One of the main reasons I went to JcPenny was to get a pair of boots for my mom to give me for Christmas. Needless to say I gave up after crowds of women were blocking the aisles as they rooted through boxes and left the carcases of shoe boxes on the ground. At one point I started to pick up boxes on the floor and put them back on the shelves in neat rows (which I got stares from).

My third mistake: getting my mom a large, heavy Christmas gift. Okay well not the gift itself because it is really awesome and I know she is going to love it. The problem was is was heavy, large, and extremely awkward to carry. I had to go down the escalator and across two parking lots with it to put it in the car. I completely consider that my work out for the day.

My realization: all the trouble that I went through to get a few good deals really wasn't worth my loss of sanity.