Drawing the Line

Two weeks ago I talked about blurred lines in my writing: how sometimes things get too real even in the fiction writing realm. Where I love the character of Loose and love her journey, I think it’s time to step away from her for a little while. I finally found the courage to write the catalyst for her whole existence: her rape at 16. Once again this is an example of me taking the things that happened to me and placing them into my writing. Once again it’s becoming a little too real.

I’ve come to a bit of a crossroads with her stories that consequently are also dramatized and expanded versions of my own stories. With the path that she’s going down it’s not going to end well. My path though completely turned around almost 3 years ago when I got over all my anxiety, issues, and emotional blockage. I finally started talking about my past and sharing with people those internal problems that before I only got across in my writing. That’s also when I started actually publishing my writing. So before when I said writing was my coping mechanism I was right; it has proved to be more healthy than otherwise.

At this point in time “Loose” is nowhere near ready to be published. In fact, I’ve been toying with the idea of leaving it unpublished. Even though in the last three years I’ve gotten a lot better at not bottling my emotions, I’m not sure I’m ready for the literary world to see that side of me. Instead, I’m going to finish up the current story of hers I’m working on and then let her sit for a while. I’ll let her figure out what course she wants to take: stay in this violent, complicated, and loveless life or move on to something more.

What this means is I’m heading back into one of my others worlds. After asking you all on my Facebook and Twitter it seems that most of you all would like to read more about Penn and Doyle from my first published work: “Dark Cell.” It has been about a year and a half since we visited them so it only seems fair that we see what they are up to. This new installment has the working title “Dark Hall” and centers on Penn and Doyle at University. Once again they find themselves in the middle of another case of murder, mystery, and magic.

Remote Sensing

No, I’m not talking about trying to sense where you’re remote control is in your living room, I’m talking about the new class I’m taking as part of my Geospatial Information Science (GIS) Master’s Program. The class is comprised of using software to process and analyze digital images from satellites. This actually may be one of my favorite classes so far. There is a fair amount of science and math behind it (especially when it comes to understanding the Electro Magnetic (EM) frequencies and the color spectrums. The formal definition of Remote Sensing is:

The science of gathering data on an object or area from a considerable distance, as with radar or infrared photography, to observe the earth or a heavenly body.

What’s really cool about Remote Sensing is it can be used for a multitude of disciplines. This week in class we discussed a few of the most common uses: crop analysis, deforestation analysis, fire restoration, land usage, and homeland security. Of course there are many other uses for Remote Sensing, like what I used it for in my undergrad: studying the landscape features of the Stonehenge area.

Many may have heard me talk about it before as part of my Landscape Archaeology class my junior year of college. My final was on the relationship of religion and landscape and I used Stonehenge as a model. Part of this was using those satellite images (like the sample LandSat image to the left) to show those henges and the other land features around them. By using this I was able to show how Stonehenge was set up as a journey to the afterlife, thus proving that religion can affect the landscape. For my current Remote Sensing class I’m thinking of expanding my old project for my final.

I’m excited to start playing around with the ENVI software for this class. To go from a very statistical heavy class it will be a nice change to play around with images and theories. Of course there is still a level of math involved in it (as with any GIS related class) but it isn’t the focal point. Additionally, this is software I haven’t used before and am anxious to get my hands on it.

Sources:

remote sensing. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved December 06, 2013, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/remote sensing

http://www.officinarcheologica.it/437-satellite-remote-sensing/

Blurred Lines

Everyone has coping mechanisms whether they are healthy or unhealthy. My coping mechanism is my writing. I can take horrible experiences/people I’ve encountered and fictionalize them. This can be a great way to get out all the bottled up emotions that I tend not to talk about. This can lead to something else though: blurring the line between fiction and reality.

Since I’ve been writing the short stories for “Loose” I’ve done just that: blurred my own reality. For these stories I take some of the horrible things that have happened to me and I fictionalize them. This allows me to work out some of my own issues while using a world that I can control. The problem with this is I recently lost sight of who I was in the process.

I was so caught up in these fictionalized accounts that for some reason I thought I was Lucy Quinn. This led me to start questioning my own identity. It has never happened to this extreme before. It really manifested itself the other day when I was at Target.

I bought myself a writing desk and was loading the box into my cart. This middle-aged man came up and asked if I needed any help. I smiled, declined, and then hoisted the box into my cart. He walked away and muttered the word “Dyke” under his breath. This stopped me in my tracks and I suddenly channeled Lucy Quinn and wanted to hit him. Instead though, I walked on.

Fast forward to me waiting in line to check out and the douche got behind me in line. I ignored that urge again and started smiling at the little boy in the line next to me. He smiled back at me and showed me his maze he finished in his coloring book, claiming it was “too easy” for him. As I moved forward in line I heard the man say something behind me. He said “Man I feel sorry for that kid.” It took me a few moments to realize why he said that. I hadn’t realized that this boy was the son of the lesbian couple that was checking out in that next aisle. This time I turned around and stared this man in the eyes. There were no words I wanted to say to him, no education, no reasoning – I wanted to punch him in the throat. Nothing else came to mind except that act. Then Sam kicked back in and realized I wasn’t about to be kicked out of Target or possibly arrested.

This is an extreme example of how those lines between fiction and reality get blurred for me. In this case if I hadn’t have snapped back I could’ve gotten into a world of trouble. These past couple days it’s become a little less innocuous – more just questioning my identity, if the labels that define who Lucy is also define me. The New Moon has set me on my right path though. I realize once again I shouldn’t feel the need to drop myself into labels or categories. I am Samantha Curtin, I am a writer who is in control of her own fictional world but am at the mercy of this very real one. And you know what? I’m okay with that. Sometimes I just need that reminder, that shove back into reality. Losing sense of reality can be a very scary thing at times.

Image URL: http://wallpoper.com/images/00/42/06/51/hands-blurry_00420651.jpg

Visages of Santa Claus

We all know him as that jolly guy in the red suit that clambers down your chimney to deliver your presents on Christmas morning. What you might not know is Santa Claus is not solely a Christian manifestation; in fact it is quite the opposite really. We know the American version of St. Nicholas, or Santa Claus, which originally came from the Dutch version called Sint Nikolaas or Sinterklaas. The Dutch settlers in New York brought this tradition (some even say cult) to America.

This version of Santa has given the current myth this current description:

A merry old man with red and white clothes. Has eight flying reindeer, later joined by Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. A home located on or near the North Pole. The habit of filling socks or stockings with presents on the night of December 24th. Also the habit of entering houses through the chimney.

The most important source for our modern day version of Santa Claus comes from the Christmas poem Visit From St. Nicholas by Clement C. Moore. Written for his children in 1823, the family poem was later published for the general public and included what became the now famous picture of Santa Claus by Thomas Nast. Actually the old "cult" of Santa Claus incorporates many traditions: Christian and Pagan, Old Catholic, Scandinavian, Dutch, German, and English. There are though many other visages of the jolly (and some not so jolly) old man from different cultures.

Russia

Grandfather Frost is the Russian equivalent to Santa and has strong Pagan ties. He is usually accompanied by his granddaughter Snegurochka (Snow girl), who helps Grandfather Frost provide a New Year party for children as well as bringing them gifts. He wears a long fur coat covered by bright beautiful cloth (blue or red) trimmed in fur. According to new tradition, Grandfather Frost and Snegurochka live in the town Veliky Ustug from which they begin their New Year journey by troika of white horses. Today Grandfather Frost is connected to New Year celebrations, but before 1917 he was seen more around Christmas time. Grandfather Frost and Snegurochka visit children asking them to sing or read a poem, sometimes asking if they were good and giving them presents as a reward.

Finland

The finish have Joulupukki which literally means: Yule Buck. This old pagan tradition remained strong in Finland but got a Christian taste to it as time went by (like most things it seems). The ancient pagans used to have festivities to ward the spirit of darkness who wore goat skins and horns. In the beginning this creature didn't give presents but demanded them. In fact the "Christmas Goat," as some referred to it, was an ugly creature and frightened children. It is unclear how this personality was transformed into the benevolent Father Christmas. Nowadays the only remaining feature is the name. Now Joulupukki consists of many personages with roles partly Christian, partly pagan: A white-bearded saint, the Devil, demons, house gnomes, whatnot. Nowadays the Joulupukki of Finland resembles the American Santa Claus.

Norway (my favorite, go figure)

Now in Norway we have two different visages, if you will, of comparability to Santa: Nisse and Julenissen. Julenissen is a specific form of a nisse that only comes out around Yule (Jul).

The Norwegian Nisse differs from both Santa Claus and St. Nicholas. In modern Norway we actually have two types of "nisser". The name Nisse most likely comes from St. Nicholas. But nisser - which are elves (or gnomes) are old figures which existed long before the birth of Christ (and that my grandmother has all over her house in the form of figurines). There are several types of "nisser" in Norway.

The most common is the Fjøsnisse (don't ask me to pronounce it, lol) which is a nisse who takes care of the animals on the farms. The Fjøsnisse is very short and often bearded and lives in a barn or a stable. He wears clothes of wool and often has a red knitted hat (seen above). The Fjøsnisse often plays tricks on people (I grew up listening to tales of why to beware of them). Sometimes he will scare people by blowing out the lights in the barn or he will scare the farm dog at night. He can become very friendly with the people that live on the farm, but one should never forget to give him a large portion of porridge on Christmas Eve - or else he will play tricks for example move the animals around in the barn, braid the horses' mane and tail, and other tricks like that.

Like I stated above, we also have a Christmas/Yule nisse (julenissen) which in most homes is more or less identical to Santa Claus. The Julenisse brings presents to all the nice children on Christmas Eve. He is not as shy as Santa though, since the julenisse delivers the presents himself. He does not come down the chimney in the middle of the night but will literally knock on your door and walk in.

Ireland

In Ireland they have more or less the same as the British or Americans. Daidí na Nollag (Daddy of Christmas) in Irish, is known in Ireland as Santy or Santa. He brings presents to children in Ireland, which are opened on Christmas morning. It is traditional to leave a mince pie and a bottle or a glass of Guinness along with a carrot for Rudolph, although in recent years Guinness has been replaced with milk and mince pies with cookies (spoil sports).

Netherlands

Black Peter is popular in the Netherlands and is very similiar to the darker version that Finland has. In the folklore and legends of the Netherlands and Belgium, Zwarte Piet (meaning Black Pete) is a companion of Saint Nicholas whose yearly feast in the Netherlands is usually celebrated on the evening of 5 December (Sinterklaas-avond, that is, St. Nicholas Eve) and 6 December in Belgium, when they distribute sweets and presents to all good children.

The characters of Zwarte Pieten appear only in the weeks before Saint Nicholas's feast (which is today the 6th), first when the saint is welcomed with a parade as he arrives in the country (usually by boat). Zwarte Pieten mainly amuses children, and scatters pepernoten, Kruidnoten and "strooigoed" (special sinterklaas-candies) for those who come to meet the saint as he visits stores, schools, and other places.

According to the more modern Saint Nicholas legend, Zwarte Piet is a servant who tavels with Saint Nicholas. In some versions, Saint Nicholas is said to have liberated a young slave named Peter, who decided to serve Nicholas. Zwarte Piet is today commonly depicted as a black person in the colorful pantaloons, feathered cap and ruffles of a Renaissance European page, a tradition that comes from a children's book published in 1850. Many feel that this visage is racist, though.


References:
"Santa Claus Origins and FAQ" Christmas Connection http://lnstar.com/mall/main-areas/santafaq.htm
"Christmas in Norway" http://www.stavanger-web.com/jul/christma.htm (Image from there as well)

Coming to the End of the Beginning

There are officially 5 days (including today) left in November. To say that this month was a busy one is an understatement. Between dealing with some family problems, accepting the fact that I was going to get a B in my Spatial Statistics class, and the stressful month of work, I was ready to pull my hair out. Through it all though I kept up with my month long writing sprint; some days I wrote dozens of pages and others I wrote none.

Pretty much writing “Loose” kept my sanity. I was able to take all these problems of the month (and even the past) and throw them into these stories. I ended up focusing more so on her 20s than any other age range because I feel more connected to her at that stage of her life. I attempted to write about 16 year old Loose but found myself having a hard time with it. Part of this may have to do with the catalyst for the whole series being very difficult for me to write, or more so to get in the mind frame to write.

Instead I focused on what that situation had turned her into. Lucy Quinn is one of the most intense characters that I’ve ever written. She is an outlaw, loose cannon, fighter, and lover. She fascinates me and scares the crap out of me at the same time. We’ve even got into some fights about the direction of the stories (which I outline in my last post “Loose and Stubborn”). All in all I love her and couldn’t ask for a better companion for this past month.

Most of you know that I have been writing the bulk of her stories in long hand. I’m currently at 123 pages (This does not include front and back since I’m using wide rule so one page front and back really equals one page typed) in my notebook which translates to about 20 stories. I supplemented these 123 pages of long hand with 6 short stories typed up (when the hand cramps set in). All together I’ve written about 155 pages of Loose’s stories and I’m continuing on.

My goal is to finish up the last 18 pages of my notebook by Saturday. That is not the end of Loose though. Her story is one that is multi-layered and could go on for hundreds upon hundreds of stories. Honestly I’m not sure if I’ll publish all of them, or any of them really. In this process I’ve also learned that Lucy an extension of myself, I very intense, somewhat crazy extension but an extension nonetheless. She is a poster child for fighting back and standing up for yourself – a cause that sometimes I find myself lacking on.

So until I decide what it is I’m going to do with all these stories (which could continue and continue for all I know), I thought I’d share a few of lines from my favorite “Loose” stories:

Fight Night

“Knew there was a reason we kept you around,” Tom said kissing her on the forehead and squeezing her tight, “You’re a goddess.”

“Yeah you better bow to me… I got my pretty face messed up for you,” she smiled through her now black eye and bruised neck and cheek.

Placating

“So you’re adding Good Samaritan to your resume? Does that go before or after murderer?”

A smile passed her lips, “We could go on with this witty banter all night but I got what I came for.”

“What was that exactly, the truth?”

“More like fewer lies…”

News (aka the story I had to wrestle Lucy over)

Drew then just started laughing, “Shit…”

“What?” she cracked a smile, sitting up.
“How messed up are we in the head? Could we really pull this off? The two of us?”

Falling

“Usual state?” she laughed, “Not even sure what that means anymore. Sometimes I wonder if things were easier when we were just the bad guys.”

Loose and Stubborn

Lucy Quinn is Stubborn: that should be the title of my newest short story. Yes in fact the character out ranked the writer in this case. Lucy “Loose” Quinn is my newest obsession in my writing world. She is fierce, strong, smart, caring, and did I mention stubborn? Usually I can coerce my characters into doing what I want; I can lead the story in the direction my mind has thought of. There are times when I deviate from that but for the most part my stories start, climax, and end where I want them too. Well, there’s a reason why this short story series is called “Loose.” Lucy is a loose cannon. If she wants something she goes after it no matter what the implications are. If someone hurts any of the ones she loves she barely hesitates to slit their throats.

This has led many of her short stories to go in completely different directions then I first envisioned. In this particular short story of hers titled “News,” she sure has a lot of news for me. See her best friend who she’s known since she was 16 (she's now 31), has lived with since she was 21, and who plays a pivotal role in her outlaw life/family, decided that he was in love with her. Now the two of them getting together is just a bad idea, not to mention the fact that she doesn’t like men. They both have the same emotional issues, and at this point in their lives have both met heartache and then some. Essentially they’re way too comfortable with each other so they think they are meant to be together.

Lucy is convinced that Drew is not only her best friend but her soul mate. Drew is convinced he is in love with Lucy and has been for a long time. They’re both idiots. They are too caught up in their own heads and reeling from their recent losses (And from Lucy getting shot and almost bleeding to death) to think straight right now. They think they should be with each other because it’s something familiar; they don’t have to try and find someone. The problem is no amount of me trying to rationalize this is helping. As of now they’re drifting closer and closer together. It’s going to happen and when it does it might be something that’s great and lasts for a little while but eventually the relationship will implode.

That has been my inner struggle today: arguing with my very fictional character about her life decisions. Once again though she is too stubborn to listen to me; she will continue on this path. I’m just waiting with bated breath (as I furiously write) to see how long this lasts. My guess: one of them is going to end up very hurt or possibly even dead from blowback of their relationship.

Technology: Archaeology’s Biggest Hindrance

Technology is all around us: computers, Smart Phones, MP3 players, cars equipped with smart technology, and the list goes on and on. There are very few things in this day and age that don’t require some level of technology. This is both a good thing as well as a bad thing. Today, as I sit here on a computer that is equipped to do a plethora of tasks for me yet all the drives I usually access are down. This has rendered me unable to do my job. The very thing that allows me to do my job is hindering me. Now of course no amount of cursing or banging of my computer will help so I’m sitting here pondering the use of technology.

The use of shared drives, clouds, external hard drives, and even regular hard drives is an everyday occurrence in almost every job. We store massive amounts of information (classified information as it pertains to my job) and yet when these drives stop working, we can’t access it. So what happens if there is some kind of huge destruction of our world and all technology and media is wiped out? Then all the information is useless. For example, what if you have hard drives filled with data and databases of every news clipping dating back to the 1700s. How will we view it? If computers are wiped out, DVD players destroyed, other technologies destroyed; how will we get this information? The answer: we can’t.

So what does this mean when it comes to preserving our past for future generations? Well that’s the issue at hand. Let’s say our cities here in the US are reduced to rubble; come a thousand years from now archaeologists come along and want to learn about what our society was about. Well unlike many ancient societies, our ways of life are immortalized on disks and drives in trillions of gigabytes of data. But what’s the use if they can’t be viewed and examined? Of course archaeologists can find about our ways of life by artifacts just like past societies have been examined but how about all the news? How will they tell how our government was run? How will they even know that we had a government?

Let’s look at the Ancient Mesopotamians. We have tons of records on them that have lasted thousands of years. What’s the reason for this? They carved everything into stone. Stone beats technology every time because stone can survive brutal attacks by neighboring kings and regimes. Not only did they write out the list of kings, their economic standings, social hierarchies, and resources into stone but they also would carve scenes in history into stone.

There are many depictions of great battles carved into stone pillars on temples, in pots, and sometimes even into the ground itself. We can then see what was happening at that time and get a much better understanding of the culture. This is something that we are lacking in our society. Now am I going to take up stone carving instead of updating my Facebook status or tweeting? Well let’s be real probably not but it gives us all something to think about.

One thing we do have is our monuments. We have great monoliths like the Washington monument, the WW II memorial, other war memorials and countless engraving on plaques around our nation describing what had happened. This is our ticket to immortality as a society. We need more of this! More physical documentation near important sites around the country that will be a permanent fixture and will hopefully be preserved for future generations. We need to stop this constant inputting of data in databases and drives to “preserve” it. Chances are it won’t be preserved as well as something that is carved into the ground or on the side of a building.